


Forswear it, sight!

by Ria_Trevelyan



Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, Dirty Talk, F/M, Insecurity, Jealousy, Kink Meme, Prompt Fill, Smut, Voice Kink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-01
Updated: 2015-03-01
Packaged: 2018-03-15 18:44:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3457787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ria_Trevelyan/pseuds/Ria_Trevelyan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for a kink-meme prompt asking to see F!Lavellan reassuring a Solas who is insecure and thinks he is physically unattractive. I chose to illustrate this with sex, poor communication skills and plentiful amounts of angst.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Forswear it, sight!

**Author's Note:**

> This story was written as a fill for an old prompt on the DA:I kink meme found here: http://dragonage-kink.livejournal.com/12149.html?thread=47422325#t47422325 -- which is paraphrased in the summary.

“My Lady,” the Duke bows low and makes a show of kissing her hand extravagantly. Ellana knows where this sentence is going to end before he even re-opens his mouth, “You are even more lovely than the tales say. Of course, such beauty could never be properly expressed in words, may I just sa--”

It takes all of her newfound court manners to not yawn loudly, It is _always_ like this. Every noble she meets, men and women alike. They fawn over her, telling her what sort of lace would best compliment her ghostly complexion, weaving poetry about the color of her eyes, the fierce red hue of her hair….it’s…it’s...

_Exhausting._

Also, incredibly annoying.   
One would think it would be at least occasionally about: her accomplishments, her prowess in battle, her scandalous Dalish roots; even someone accusing her of stealing shem children or copulating with Halla would be a nice change at this point.

Nope. In fact, the closest they’ve gotten so far was one effeminate Orlesian man swooning over her and prattling on about how impressive it was that someone with such delicate features and a trim waist could take down a Fereldan Frostback. 

Well, Ellana though that was mighty impressive no matter how you looked at it. Why did it even matter that she did it while being _pretty_? 

So, to put it lightly, she is _used_ to those who cannot see beyond the veil of her beauty. She is _used_ to people putting her on a pedestal because she was born with high cheekbones and a clear complexion.

She just never expected such behavior from Solas…

\------------------------

Who, by the by, _really_ doesn’t play fair. 

After being ‘together’ for months, after refusing Ellana’s every attempt to lead him to her bed. After all the times he’d shrugged off her best attempt at seduction, gently pushing her away just when she finally though they were getting somewhere…

So, why is he doing this now? Surely this must be a deliberate attempt to undo her, why else would her have cornered her like this.

Ellana had only been trying to get away from the party for a few stolen moments, slinking off to watch the visiting dignitaries from the rafters where Vivienne can usually be found.

 

It is there that Solas sneaks up on her, pressing the hard line of his body tightly against her back, soft lips barely brushing her ear as he speaks. 

He has been down there mingling nearly as long as she, although he has rather more to show for it. Most nobles assume all elves but she to be servants, and as such are loose of tongue around them. 

_‘Creators, his **voice.** ’_

His _everything_ , really. 

The smooth wood of the bannister creaks under her clenching hands as he spills their secrets into her ear; any one of these stolen mysteries could buy him a life of leisure in any of Thedas’ kingdoms, but he will choose to stay here -- with _her._

The thought, combined with the lilting, almost poetic rhythm of his otherwise bland words makes her shiver. He is not even _trying_ to entice her is he? His words plainly spoken and ordinary. It’s just _him._ Him and everything he does. 

By all the gods she wants his hands on her; can just imagine those nimble fingers slipping under the clasp of her pants, finding how slick and ready she has become just for the sound of his voice...just for _him._

Does he even know what he’s doing to her?

His lips weave her a story about some Nevarran’s mistress with a scandalous preference for...for _something…_

Truth be told Ellana has long since ceased paying his precious words the attention they deserve.

Her intellect is draining steadily as his accent washes over her, wearing away at her newly-found sense of shemlen propriety.

Nevertheless, it must be something amusing, for he quite suddenly lets out hushed laugh, breath ghosting over the hairs on her neck and forcing a breathless gasp from her. When did her heart start racing so?

“Are you alright, Inquisitor? I did not find that particular story quite so shocking.”

Ellana’s face warms with embarrassment as well as arousal. 

This is absurd, does he truly not know? The mounting sexual tension threatens to engulf her whole, and her (not quite) lover stands not two inches away...wholly unaffected. 

“I…” 

Even that one word is unsteady on her lips. What can she even say? How can she excuse this? Would he think less of her, panting like a bitch in heat from nothing more than common utterings in _trade_?

Creators, if he was speaking _Elvish_ to her…

The thought alone makes her thighs tremble and her nethers clench. Suddenly she feels so _empty_ she can barely stand it, knees weak. 

How many seconds would it take her to strip off and bend over the bannister? He could be inside her in moments, he could--  
 _‘No!’_  
He pulls away from her suddenly and Ellana feels the loss keenly, sharp as a blade against her nerve-sensitive skin. It takes a great deal of effort not to fall back against him, not to realign so she can grind back _just _right. She wouldn’t find him hard, true, but it would be the work of only a few moments to make him so -- if he is anything like her past lovers.__

__Firm but gentle hands grab her shoulders and bring her to face him, walking her a few careful steps towards the balcony, entirely out of view from the throngs below._ _

__“Vhenan?” His brows are creased in concern, stormy eyes full of confusion as he catches her gaze; and Ellana wonders if _her_ eyes look as foggy with passion as her mind feels._ _

__She needs to _speak_ , to formulate an excuse, a reason for her distraction. _Anything.__ _

__His magic flows over her in a soft pulse, spirit magic. A cool hand settles on her forehead as if checking for fever._ _

___‘Mythal’s tits’_ , she thinks, _‘I’m acting so deranged he thinks I’m actually **ill**.’__ _

__“I’m _fine,_ emma lath, It’s just...I -- well, _you_ …” _ _

___‘Well, this is going **brilliantly**.’ _ _ _

__“It’s nothing,” Ellana finally manages to breath, lamely, words more lusty sigh than speech, “do not worry yourself, Solas.”_ _

__Though it looks like that is precisely what he intends to do._ _

__“Have I said something to upset you?”_ _

__Ellana almost wants to groan, how on earth could he be so oblivious to _this_ when he is so very perceptive and knowledgeable of everything else? Despite his life of solitude she _knows_ he is not virginal, he mentioned sex so casually when they were at the the Winter Palace, and long ago he had implied that her roguish flexibility _enticed_ him….for _creators_ sake. She _was_ a good deal younger than him, but neither of them were blushing adolescents, telling him she desired him should not be so difficult. Getting _him_ to want _her_ should not be so difficult._ _

__Frustration, impatience, and blind lust combine to drive her mad. At least, that is the only reasonable explanation Ellana can conjure for the actions she takes next._ _

__Snatching his hand up in her own she stumbles backwards until she collides with one of Vivienne’s ridiculous Orlesian chairs, hoisting herself hurriedly up onto the arm and pulling him forcefully in between her thighs. She pauses only for a moment to reposition her grip on his fingers before she leads him slowly down her body; holding his increasingly widening eyes until he slips beneath the fabric of her trousers... until the tips of his strangely trembling fingers brush against the slick heat of her._ _

__They gasp in unison, though the sounds are hardly born of the same emotion. Pleasure arcs through her and makes her whole body jerk as he (seemingly accidentally) brushes against her clit. _His_ sudden breath speaks only of surprise, shock even -- going by the look of his face. _ _

__Not exactly the reaction she’d been hoping for. Though the increasingly limited part of her brain that’s thinking reasonably isn’t quite concerned enough to make her, you know, _stop_.  
Ellana is only comforted by the fact that he does not withdraw from her. _ _

__This is it, the moment._ _

___They are two adults in a (relatively long-term) romantic relationship. But what does that even _mean_ when they do nothing more than kiss, when no one but the two of them even knows how the _feel?__  
Ellana will wait for him no longer, if he has reason to refuse her let him say it. If he does not wish to take their relationship to the next step he must speak the words, justify himself.   
To her face.   
With her juices still slick and warm on his skin. 

__Seconds tick by, his lips part and fail to form words, his hand still frozen against her center._ _

__Finally, something breaks. His whole demeanor changes, he becomes confident again, a playful, seductive smirk gracing his lips._ _

__It would be reassuring if it did not seem so much like a lie._ _

__“You hide your condition well, I did not see as much as a shudder or twitch from you before, and I was watching.”_ _

__Watching? _Before?_ Ellana is the confused one now but she dare not open her mouth to question him. He is touching her, the tip of a single finger teasing against her entrance, and she never wants it to stop._ _

__“Was it the handsome duke? I know how Orlesian accents grate on you, but he did not seem overly talkative. Though he _did_ have his hand on your waist for quite some time.”_ _

__The handsy man from Monfort? He had touched far more than her waist, and Ellana had been very discreet as she slipped a non-lethal poison into his drink, making him abandon her quickly thereafter. Probably in search of a privy._ _

__What manner of game was Solas playing with her? They are not in private, true, but she wants this moment to be only for them. It is special -- precious -- to her, if not to him._ _

__A single finger slips inside her folds and Solas presses his lips to hers briefly to swallow her moan. Foolishly Ellana hopes this will be the end of all this strange talking, and she eagerly parts his lips with her own, slipping her tongue inside, but --_ _

__He pulls away, trailing almost chaste kisses along her jaw as he presses his hand more tightly against her heat, slipping a second finger into her and grinding his palm in firm circles against her clit. It feels exquisite, but something is wrong. She wants to stop this and ask, but he is relentless and instead she bucks against his hand and feels him press even closer._ _

__“Or perhaps the Nevarran woman, the one with the pale skin and dark lips. She was certainly interested, couldn’t keep her fingers out of your hair.” Solas brings his own hand up to tangle in her bright, curly locks; the gesture a mockery of the very words on his lips. Ellana still doesn’t understand what’s happening. “You could have had her with a single word.”_ _

___‘I don’t want her,’_ she wants to say, but her vocabulary has been reduced to sharp gasps and whimpers, _‘I want **you.** ’__ _

__“No? The handmaiden then, she wa--” Desperate to shut him up, because he is _ruining_ this with his nonsensical rambling, Ellana seizes the back of his neck and drags his mouth to hers. She eagerly swallows his noise of surprise and trails her nails softly over his bare scalp, trying to elicit any response from him other than…..whatever it is that has been going on so far._ _

__He withdraws from her suddenly, hand continueing it’s sinful pleasure but the loss of his warmth is enough to shake her. Enough to make her upset at his disconnected actions, enough to outweigh her lust for his touch. After all this time spent wanting him, spent worrying over the fact that he did not seem to want her. For her to finally _have_ his touch and it goes like _this_. Ellana pushes him firmly and abruptly away before righting herself, a torrential combination of hurt and anger building within._ _

__“What is the _matter_ with you?” she hisses tactlessly. To think just minutes ago she had thought this was finally the time he would give into her. Well, she wasn’t exactly wrong, but neither was it going the way she’d dreamed. _ _

__At all, really._ _

__His expression breaks quite suddenly into one of hurt, then confusion, and finally anger._ _

__“What is the matter with _me_?” he hisses right back at her, wiping his hand hurriedly on his tunic before taking her firmly by the elbow and steering her out the side door and through the library. There are several reading rooms tucked away in it’s dark corners that no one but Dorian ever uses. He shoves her gracelessly into one and freezes the knob behind them. It’s not exactly a lock, but no one will be barging in on them anytime soon._ _

__“What is the matter with me,” he reiterates heatedly, “what is the matter with _you_? Coming on to me in the middle of a soiree while you’re wet and panting for some _stranger_?”_ _

__“What are you even talking about?” Not the most tactful approach but Ellana doesn’t even understand why he’s upset or how he’s reached anything approaching that conclusion. For almost six months now she hasn’t wanted anyone but him, how could he possibly accuse her of...well, whatever it is he’s getting at._ _

__“What am I -- this is Halamshiral all over again. An evening surrounded by _beautiful_ men and women in _beautiful_ silk gowns” Solas speaks the word both times as though it is a vicious curse, “Am I supposed to find it a coincidence that afterwards you suddenly desire me? You have never shown such passion when we are alone -- not that I blame you, but…”_ _

__“That isn't --- You’re completely twisting things.” Or at least selectively remembering. Seeing him at ease in the atmosphere of the Orlesian court had stirred something primal within her, and Ellana had nearly humiliated herself that evening when she practically tore his clothes off only to be not-so-gently rebuked for her actions._ _

__But it had hardly been her only previous attempt to seduce him. Was he so blind, or perhaps ambivalent, to her desires that he had simply not noticed her more _subtle_ attempts? Ellana opens her mouth to let him know exactly who has slighted whom when she catches on his words._ _

__“Wait….not that you blame me? Should I apologize now for how much I desire you?”_ _

__Solas scoffs at her in response, lip curling like she has just told him a lie so repulsive it actually tastes rancid in his mouth._ _

__“Desire me? I am not _blind._ A woman like you with a man such as I? Your attempts in the past to seduce me were appreciated, but forced at best. What a fool would I be to not notice your only _real_ displays of passion and lust come on nights when you have been associating with those….more your caliber.”_ _

__“I --” _‘am beyond confused.’_ “don’t understand. _Why_ are you mad?...because you don’t think I want you? Solas I--”_ _

__“No. It is not…” he sighs, anger draining out of him so suddenly Ellana momentarily questions if it had ever truly existed, “I am not angry with _you_ , Vhenan, but with myself. I realize that you have done your best, and I cannot expect you to show me the same desire you would have shown your other suitors.”_ _

__“Other suitors? There are--”_ _

__“ _Please_ , you cannot pretend to be blind to those who would steal your affections from me.”_ _

__Well, yes, there were nobles who sought her hand and once or twice in Haven she could have sworn Cullen was _trying_ to flirt with her but…. it had _always_ been Solas. In Ellana’s eyes no one else could even _compete.__ _

__“I…. am more grateful than you could know that you were -- _are_ \-- able to see beyond my physical, well, _limitations._ But do not pretend you are _blind_. It does us _both_ a disservice, my heart.”_ _

__Ellana is sure she must look like a gaping fish. Mouth opening and closing mutely as she tries to digest his meaning while formulating a response that isn’t ‘you can’t be serious’ because he clearly **is.**_ _

__“I am sorry for my outburst, my insecurities run wild at these such events, and I am afraid I took my fears of inadequacy out on you. You did nothing wrong, ma sa’lath, you merely---” he breaks off with a harsh sigh and sinks down to the nearby plush loveseat, cradling his head in his hands, “At one time I considered myself quite attractive, it is a pity you could not have seen me then. Perhaps I could recreate it in the fade, though for us to sleep together there would be a risk, even for a dreamer of my skill…”_ _

__He thinks she finds him unattractive? He has refused her attempts to lure him to her bed because he was physically insecure. That -- that had never even _occurred_ to her. Solas was always so self-assured, so confident in his ideas and magical prowess. To Ellana he was a paragon of intelligence, charisma and beauty. She was not so shallow to have been drawn to him by looks alone, but…_ _

__Had she found him any more attractive she would have been afraid to even approach. As it was it had taken months of careful questions and shy flirtations before she had felt like anything but a stuttering child in his brilliant presence.  
It felt like a personal failing that she had somehow managed to make him think that she wanted him in-spite of his looks, and not for every inch of what he was. She found him gorgeous. Of course, at this point she was so completely enamoured with him it wouldn’t matter if he suddenly turned into a hideous beast. _ _

__Though, somehow, Ellana doesn’t think she’ll be leading with that fact._ _

__“Do you remember two days ago, when you were explaining why blood magic sometimes negates healing abilities and I--”_ _

__“Yes, you were distracted, not listening. I was forced to repeat myself. Why is this relevant now?”_ _

__“Because I was distracted by _you._ ” _ _

__Solas merely shakes his head, brow furrowed, and Ellana can tell already that he has closed his ears to her words. He thinks she is humoring him, speaking only to placate his ego._ _

__Well, then she must simply convince him otherwise._ _

__Quickly though, before he decides he would rather escape now and let this fester than actually _solve_ anything. Ellana lowers herself quickly to straddle his lap and hold him there._ _

__“Back there, on the balcony. You barely touched me. Just a few brushes of your lips against my ear, a few moments of pressure against my back and the sound of your voice. It almost drove me _mad_ for want of you. I didn’t think I could survive another moment without your hands on me.”_ _

__He opens his mouth, eyebrows furrowed, presumably about to protest her words; to question her actions. Ellana is having none of it. She captures his lips to silence him and drops her weight fully into his lap, rolling her hips firmly and steadily against his -- releasing his lips only when he begins to harden against her, revelling in the smutty noise of the moan he looses._ _

__Ellana leans further forward until her lips caress the shell of his ear._ _

__“The first time I sat to watch you paint I had to excuse myself after only ten minutes. I couldn’t stop watching your fingers, how dextrous and sure they were. Couldn’t stop imagining that skill focused between my legs, how easy it would be for you to make me tremble and scream for you. I ran back to my room and touched myself, picturing how gorgeous those hands would look wrapped around your own cock.”_ _

__She punctuates her sentence with small little nips and licks to his ear, his neck. His unsteady hands coming up to frame the curve of her waist, tightening around her with every word. His breath coming out in harsh pants against her neck._ _

__This is working, He is trembling with want below her, doubt and insecurity forgotten, or at least muted in the moment._ _

__When this is done Ellana swears to them both that there will be no room left for him to think he is undesirable to her, to anyone._ _

___“And once,” _damn_. He isn’t the only one being affected by this. His hips buck up against hers and Ellana forgets words entirely as the hard length of him brushes her clit.  
No, she cannot let this derail her.  
“ _Once_ ,” she forces out, voice straining, but steady, “on the way back from the Fallow Mire, you took off your tunic...was covered in muck. I had never seen an elf with a body like yours. I wanted to trace the lines of your muscles with my tongue, learn what your skin tasted like.” The memory of the want surges through her and suddenly she is fumbling to free him from the confines of his clothes, hands frantic and tugging on his belt. “Wanted to -- to taste every last one of your freckles, memorize every scar.”_

__Words fall to the wayside as they hurry to undress each other, pausing each time new skin is relieved to touch and taste. Part of Ellana still can’t believe this is actually, _finally_ happening. Her own state of undress is secondary, she has never been self-conscious, at least not sexually. A lifetime of nearly everyone she’s ever met droning on about her beauty has seen to that. _ _

__But what _does_ floor her is that it’s actually _her_ that he wants. As the last scrap of her clothing is discarded she looks down to him and finds his eyes focused intently on her face, his chest heaving. Love written so clearly on his features. _Vhenan_. He calls her then. Whispering countless endearments to her in a reverent tone as she tugs his trousers down his legs. _ _

__“You’re the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen.” she pants, eyes eagerly devouring every bare inch of him. Only the thin, triangular fabric of his smalls stands between her and the sinful expanse of his flesh._ _

__“I believe you.” he whispers, although they are alone, as if afraid this precious moment will shatter if he does not handle it with care. “I think your opinion is biased, but I trust your words, emma lath.” and he chuckles at the look of awe on her face, raising a gentle hand to trace the line of her jaw._ _

__“Ir abelas,” Ellana fishes her stiletto blade from her boots and slices easily through the last scrap of fabric separating them. “If I have ever made you doubt my love for every inch of you.”_ _

__Eyeing him hungrily she discards the blade and climbs -- seductively, or so she hopes -- back onto his lap. Trying her best to seem like she isn’t nearly rabid with desire as she aligns their bodies, rocking just slightly so the tip of him teases her entrance._ _

__“Is it love I see in your eyes now, Ella?” his voice is breathless and his face flushed, clearly just as wrecked by these feelings as she is. Yet there is something else there now, a confidence she hasn’t seen before. He is cocky, reassured by her actions and words. “Because unless I am mistaken, it looks more like _lust._ ”_ _

__It’s not exactly the sexiest noise she’s ever made, but Ellana is sure she lets out a completely undignified yelp when he surges forward, flipping them over on the plush cushions until she is pinned beneath him._ _

__The gesture is playful but does nothing to dampen her arousal. In all her life this is by far the tamest sexual encounter she has ever had, but it is _also_ by far the most intense. Ellana looks up into his eyes, arching up to brush her lips against his as she encircles his waist with her legs and attempt to pull him in. Her blood is pounding so hard she can feel her own pulse in her cunt, her internal muscles twitching, pulling at the empty air as if she can draw him into her with need alone._ _

__His hands slide up her waist to cup her breasts, thumb ghosting over her nipple, drawing little mewls of pleasure from her._ _

__“Ar lath ma.” she gasps out as he spreads her open, sliding into her with care. Too _much_ care, she decides. Rocking her hips up against his, futilely trying to force him deeper. For her efforts she gets an impatient growl and a grip on her hips that is sure to leave a mark tomorrow, as well as holding her frustratingly still._ _

__“Ma’arlath... _Ella_ , but you must be patient,” his thumbs rub calming circles against her skin as he trails almost chaste kisses along her collarbone; starting a slow but nonetheless maddening rhythm within her, “..or I will not last.” _ _

__The angle of his hips as he thrusts into her fully for the first time turns her answering chuckle into a wanton moan. “Isn’t that what rejuvenation spells are for?” she says when she finally feels confident that actual words will emerge._ _

__“Among other things.” he says, and Ellana decides that there is far too much smirk in that voice for their current situation. In an attempt to rectify the problem she clenches her muscles around him in time with his trusts, watching with primal satisfaction as his mouth falls open and his eyelids flutter._ _

__In retaliation his hand snakes between her legs and lets loose a burst of magic that damns both of them -- sending her completely unprepared into orgasmic bliss. Above her, Solas goes still as she comes, cock pulsing thickly inside of her as she drags him over the edge behind her._ _

__Coming down from the high of climax they are sweaty and fit awkwardly together on the too-short furniture. Their harsh breathing is almost too loud in the otherwise silent library and the reality that they’d both gotten off far sooner than was traditionally expected or acceptable sets in._ _

__It was absolutely _perfect_._ _

__Solas raises a questioning and somewhat offended eyebrow as Ellana lets loose a giddy laugh, absolutely drunk on her love for him._ _

__“I was just thinking how strange this whole situation was. Just an hour ago I was upset because I thought you didn’t want me.” she confesses, twisting in his arms and resting her ear over his still pounding heart._ _

__“I would chastise you, but I have hardly fared better. Just thirty minutes ago I was half mad over the idea that you would decide to discard me for one of your many other, _better_ , options.”_ _

__He pulls her flush against him again, goosebumps rising on her skin as his thumbs stroke over the small of her back and her nipples re-pebble where they’re pressed tightly to his chest._ _

__“And now?” she murmurs, already beginning to feel like she may be about ready for round two. Constantly aware of the feel of his shaft, slick and still flaccid, resting on the inside of her thigh. It shouldn’t be a sexy feeling, if anything it’s probably objectively kind of gross. But right now all it does is make her want to feel him swell against her tender skin._ _

__“You still have better options.” Ellana recoils in response, reflexively pulling back from him, intending to make her point again. As many times as she has to until it sinks into his thick skull, “ _But--_ ” he stresses, holding her still despite her attempts to escape the circle of his arms, “I am your choice, not your duty. I believed before that you had chosen to merely overlook my failings, that you were merely _settling_ for me. I believe _now_ that you went into this with your eyes open. I will not doubt that again.”_ _

__“Good.” she says -- out loud, at least. In her mind she thinks that this is merely a start. One day she will make him see how he looks through her eyes._ _

__But for now…_ _

__Leaning her weight against his right shoulder so she can roll on top of him, Ellana plants an almost nauseatingly sweet kiss on his lips before nipping her way down his chest, pausing to suck her marks onto his skin as she pleases._ _

__He makes an amused sound below her, hardly her desired response. “Again, so soon?”_ _

__“Mhmm,” she hums teasingly against his skin, enjoying the way it makes his stomach muscles jump beneath her swollen lips. “Unless you don’t think you’re up to it _hahren_.” purposefully drawing attention to the honorific, overly formal and ridiculous sounding in this scenario. But it makes him twitch and swell, so it might be something to explore later.  
Everyone has their little kinks, after all._ _

__“I wasn’t lying when I said I couldn’t get my fill of you, though I’ll be thrilled if you let me _try._ ”_ _

__A curt nod is all she gets in response, though that may have to do with what her hands have gotten up to, and she holds steady eye contact with him as she lowers her head tantalizingly slowly to engulf him in the wet heat of her mouth. The rush of pleasure she feels as his head falls back again the armrest and his jaw goes slack is almost on par with the actual sex._ _

__For the past six months she has spent hours and hours of her free time just imagining what it would feel like to have him like this. Entertaining counterfeit fantasies that got even more torturous once she knew how his lips _actually_ felt. _ _

__Now that she’s had this, _really_ had this, she will never be able to let him go. Poor communication, childish insecurities -- she won’t let anything short of death come between them ever again. And given the times they live in….._ _

__She smirks around the girth of him, humming deep in her throat as she relaxes the muscles there to accommodate him. Fingers pull weakly at her right hand, where it rests, putting a gentle and consistent pressure on his hip to prevent him from thrusting._ _

__“Ella,” her lover gasps out, tugging more insistently on her hand, eagerly entwining his fingers with hers when she lets him have his way._ _

__The gesture makes her heart melt, pure love and affection blending seamlessly into the lusty haze of her thoughts. She has never had _both_ before. _ _

__Her decisions are practically made for her._ _

__Tonight she will invite him to move into her quarters, to share what little of their lives are their own.  
Once Corypheus is dead; perhaps more:_ _

__Perhaps marriage, surely he must know some sacred elvhen ritual -- learned in the fade, no doubt. Anything would be better than the pitiful bonding ceremonies her clan practiced._ _

__Maybe one day even children. Obnoxious, whiny things with his eyes and her hair._ _

__Ellana has never been a woman who valued such things.  
Preferring the pursuit of knowledge to girlish crushes and combat to crafting. Motherhood was never something she’d seen in her future._ _

__Until now…_ _

__She will take whatever he is willing to give, will tell the whole world she is his if only Solas will allow it._ _

__Beneath her he still writhes, breath coming heavy with pleasure. He releases a choked moan and Ellana tries to catch his eyes once more but they are shut tight, his head shaking slightly from side to side, arm thrown over his forehead._ _

__He releases his tightening grip on her fingers to tug weakly at her hair, and she has barely a moment to consider acquiescing before her mouth floods with the taste of him as he comes into the back of her throat. Though she is startled off of him when someone knocks loudly on the door of their hideaway._ _

__“Inquisitor?” it’s a familiar voice, one of Leliana’s favored scouts. “Your absence from the gala has been noticed.”_ _

__“I--” Ellana flounders, “We were just...” She’s unsure what to say to excuse their absence. Their are rumors about their relationship, true, but nothing concrete. Very few members of the Inquisition even know. Ellana would shout it from the top of Skyhold if she could, but she has a feeling that Solas would rather…_ _

__Except he’s looking just as unsure as she is._ _

__And just like that, reality is back. Nothing has been magically fixed. He will probably always be insecure about his looks, just as she will always be insecure about their age gap and her suitability as leader._ _

__As long as the Inquisition lives on they won’t be able to be together. No matter how much Ellana would love to throw caution to the wind and damn everyone else….she knows the Inquisition relies heavily on donations from those that Josie has let believe might have a chance at her hand._ _

__When they go back to the gala, nothing will have changed. She will still have to pretend to be interested in the advances of Shemlen nobles and Solas will have to act as though he is nothing but a disinterested _servant_._ _

__“Tell the duke I’ll be back in just a moment, had to powder my nose. Promise him a private tea if he whines. After all, we need to discuss his donation of crafting materials at _some_ point.”_ _

__“Yes, your worship.”_ _

__Footsteps retreat from the door and Ellana scoops up her clothes from the floor, afraid to look back and absorb Solas’ reaction to the interaction. She dresses hurriedly and melts the ice from the door, and turns the handle --_ _

__A warm hand grabs her shoulder and spins her, pressing her back against the stone and claiming her mouth in a bruising kiss._ _

__“From now on every time one of those pompous nobles puts their hands on you I want you to imagine their touch is _mine_.” his words send a shiver through her, his willingness to remain playful and optimistic in their situation warms her heart._ _

__“Don’t jest, I’ll go mad inside the hour that way.”_ _

__He kisses her once more, gentle and lingering, before pulling away, straightening his clothes and opening the door._ _

__“You will endure.” a hand on the small of her back guides her towards the stairwell, “and I will be waiting for you afterwards, in your quarters.”_ _

__Ellana shoots him one final look, practically on fire with her want from him.  
Then he smiles at her, and opens the door…_ _

__….and for the next six hours she is forced to treat him no differently than she would any other servant._ _


End file.
